Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
