Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
