Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
