loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
