If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
