My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
