We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
