I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
