Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
