Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
