Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
