Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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