scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
