did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
