i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
