i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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