So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
