I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
