I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
