just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
