im six kinds of drunk right now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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