id be glad to
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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