I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
