About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
