I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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