Your face is a jimmy john
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize