It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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