Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
