She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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