Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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