tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize