In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
