do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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