Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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