How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
