Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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