i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
