just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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