I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize