She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Randomize
