Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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