your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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