just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
