I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize