I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
