wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
