I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
