whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
