So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
