i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
