naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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