i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We just shotgunned beers for America
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize