This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
