You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
