Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
