Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
