the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
