We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
