yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
