Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
